


Thinking about you

by MissyLiz



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, One Shot, Other, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 21:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19237462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissyLiz/pseuds/MissyLiz
Summary: This is set at exactly the same time Thor tells Valkyrie she is the new Queen of Asgard. It is more focused on you than him. You are an Asgardian and have been Thor‘s friend and Loki‘s girlfriend since you all were teenagers. You wanted to have some time to enjoy the sight of New Asgard before you left with the Thor and the Guardians to have a new adventure and reminisced about the past.





	Thinking about you

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to Silent Hill music and when „You‘re not here“ by Akira Yamaoka came on, I thought how fitting this song would be for the reader/ s/o after Loki passed away.
> 
> Please excuse my English, it is not my first language therefore I will not be able to always use grammar and spelling correctly. This is my very first fanfiction, please be kind in your critique.

You were almost ready to go on board with the Guardians of the Galaxy, as they call themselves. Thor offered you to come with him as he knew you couldn‘t bear being alone after all that. But he needed to talk to Valkyrie as he wished for her to lead Asgard since he knows he isn‘t fit to rule them and she has been the one supporting and guiding the people after you all arrived in New Asgard. So you decided to give Thor and Valkyrie some privacy and went into the fields. You also wanted to have some alone time before you fly off.

_„ **Blue sky to forever  
The green grass blows in the wind, dancing“**_

The scene before you was breathtaking, the wind blowing your hair gently giving you a little pleasant chill. You were reminded how beautiful the garden of Odin’s castle was. You enjoyed laying in the grass under the tree with Loki, he usually read to you while you admired his features and played with hair or even annoyed him by stroking his face with a feather sometimes. And then Thor would come and interrupt you because he wanted you to have „more enjoyable merrymaking“ than reading. But you honestly loved nothing more than just that.

_  
„ **It would be a much better sight with you, with me“**_

 

You couldn‘t help but let out a small laugh, if he‘d be here he‘d make fun of you for reminiscing about such useless memory. But you wished he‘d be here, seeing that everything is going to be fine for Asgard. That New Asgard is a wonderful place, even if it cannot compare to the glory of the original Asgard. He‘d be pouty about Valkyrie becoming the new Queen and you and Thor would have to give him the special treatment to make him feel better about it. He just loved the attention even if he would have never admitted it.

  
_„ **If you hadn’t met me, I’d be fine on my own, baby  
Never felt so lonely, then you came along“**_

  
  
You felt your heart ache and smiled bitterly. You haven‘t thought about him in a while, as you distracted yourself by helping out Valkyrie and then the Avengers. But now you are alone, only hearing the wind softly howling. You felt the hole he left in your heart more than ever. There were times were you wished you hadn‘t met him, you hadn‘t fallen in love with him. So you wouldn‘t be feeling this immense agony over his death even after 5 years. There is a loneliness when you wake up and realize yet again that he isnt here and will never come back.

_„_ **So now what should I do?  
I’m strung out, addicted to you  
My body aches, now that you’re gone  
My supply fell through“**

You don‘t know what to do, how to make it stop. You keep distracting yourself by working yourself to the bone, by trying not to think, not to feel. You have to move on, you know that…but how? Perhaps that was why you accepted Thor‘s offer. To find something to fill this hole inside you.

_“_ **You gladly gave me everything you had and more  
You craved my happiness  
When you made me feel joy it made you smile**

_**But now I feel your stress** **”** _

The first time you met Loki, he had caught you trying to steal from a neighbour while he was out on the streets, trying to get away from the usual life at the castle. You wanted to get back at him for making fun of you when you fell headfirst into the mud. You were trying to get back the sword you trained with and as clumsy as you were, you managed to slip and your neighbour saw you. When Loki aw you and made his presence clear, you immediately tried to lie your way out of this which made him laugh. This surprised you, as you thought the Prince would be more upset about such impertinent behaviour. He told you then, he had a better idea and you went along with it, wondering what the Prince would come up with. When your neighbour came home, Loki made vines appear out of the ground and chase him around a bit. Obviously it was just an illusion but the fear and confusion in his eyes made you feel so much better. Loki and you laughed wholeheartedly and you thanked him genuinely. He was surprised by that and told you that he was just bored and this was a welcome distraction for him to hide his embarrassment. You smiled at him and told him he was a genius and no matter why he helped you, you loved the show and his illusions were fascinating and so real. With his trademark grin he told you that it shouldn’t come as a surprise, he was Odin’s son after all. Thinking back on it, you realized that you must have already fallen for him back then. You two met more often and quickly became infatuated with each other. He loved seeing you have fun, even more when he was the cause of your joy. He made you help him pull off his shenanigans because he knew you wanted to take part in his schemes. You were happy with him by your side and he loved to give you everything you wanted even though the only thing you asked for was his time and love. You cherished the time he spent with you more than anything. Until he became more obsessed with his brother due to him getting crowned instead of Loki. Not that he truly wanted the throne but he didn’t agree with Thor becoming a king when he was still not “good enough” in Loki’s eyes. You spent less and less time with your beloved boyfriend Loki. You felt his stress, his anger and you were incapable of reaching his heart. When it came to Thor he was always jealous of the love and attention he got. You started to wonder, would things have gone different if you tried more harder? If you had been more strict with him, if you had sit down and really talked about this issue? Would his fate been any different? Would you even been able to reach his heart or was he destined to die?

  
_“_ **Love was never meant to be such a crazy affair, no  
And who has time for tears?  
Never thought I’d sit around and cry for your love  
‘Till now”**

Having those grim thoughts, tears fell down your cheeks. The inability to help him, to prevent his death is the biggest regret you could and will ever have. Your love was so pure and earnest, you thought you two would end up travelling the universe together, having fun with our shenanigans and loving each other until you are both old enough to die of old age. But fate had something else in mind. But here you are, alone, crying in the fields while wondering why love hurts so much.

You hear your name being called and turn around. It seems Thor is finished and waiting for you. You quickly wipe away your tears, knowing that there is a future you have while Loki doesn’t. So you have to live to the fullest, even if it is gonna be hard. You take one quick glance back and think you see Loki smiling at you, but he’s already gone after you blinked once. You smiled and rushed to Thor’s side. Everything will sort itself out, as long as you believe that, you will be alright one day.


End file.
